Joy

It's all about the joy, baby!
Or: Why I am the way I am (but in no particular order!)

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  Lunch Poems by Frank O'Hara

Frank O'Hara was the first poet I truly fell in love with; this happened back in 1975 when I was 15 & I still love him today. Frank was one of a group of poets known as the New York Poets -- he died in an accident on Fire Island, NY, in 1966. For 9 of the years that I lived in New York, I lived in his old neighborhood and worked at MoMA -- his place of employment until he died. I was always looking for Frank's ghost. I finally found it, albeit fleetingly, at Larry Rivers' 70th birthday party in a loft on E. 14th Street.


Johnny Cash: Man in Black Greatest Hits

I have loved Johnny Cash basically all my life -- from the time I was about 8. This particular album is not necessarily my "favorite" since I basically love everything he ever did. But it is available as an MP3 download and has one of my absolute favorite Johnny Cash songs: "Guess Things Happen that Way."


Auntie Mame

The Broadway musical Mame, that starred Angela Lansbury, was a huge hit when I was a very little girl, so I knew the more famous songs from that musical early on. But in high school, I was cast in the play of Auntie Mame and this was my first exposure to the whole story of Mame Dennis Burnside. I have loved it ever since and seriously identify with her zest for life, love, & for adventure: "Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death!" I have tried to show up at the banquet whenever possible.


John Lennon Collection

John Lennon was truly my first hero. I always liked the music & movies of the Beatles when I was a little girl, but when I turned 10, John's album Imagine came out and changed my whole world. He really taught me how to think. From John Lennon, I also learned about the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Andy Warhol, and a bunch of the early rock & rollers and blues players. When I finally moved to New York City on November 15, 1980, John Lennon's song "Starting Over" was a hit on the radio & it was very exciting to me that he was having a bit of a musical comeback right when I moved to New York. He was murdered in New York 3 weeks later. It devastated me.

Story of O by Pauline Reage

I read this book when I was 13 and was blown away by it; not just by the graphic BDSM sex (which I was fascinated by), but by the storytelling itself. I can't say it inspired me to become an erotica writer, but it did inspire me to become the very best one I could be.

Janis Joplin's Greatest Hits

I first became aware of Janis Joplin when I was 10 years old, in Cleveland, Ohio. Janis died from a heroin overdose that year, and in our elementary school, they told us about her death in great detail; as a cautionary tale to steer us clear of using heroin. (Seriously.) A couple years later, I discovered Janis's music and found that "Me & Bobby McGee" was very easy for me to play on my acoustic guitar! Yay! Janis is one of the few female heroes I have had. She had a very wise soul. If you ever get a chance to see the documentary film, Janis: The Way She Was, you should. She will break your heart. And I was particularly effected by Peggy Caserta's book from 1974, Going Down with Janis, wherein Peggy revealed that Janis had been bisexual. This was very empowering for me since I already knew I was bisexual, too, but I didn't know any other girls (or women) who were.


The Nature of the Psyche by Jane Roberts

Jane Roberts' books on the Seth Material have been profoundly important to me -- on how I use my mind and on how I have learned to view reality. She died in 1984, which, coincidentally, was right when I began reading all her books. She wrote many of them -- many transcribed by her husband, Rob Butts, while Jane was essentially in trance. The Nature of the Psyche is a shorter book & a bit easier to grasp, philosophically, than the others; still I found it no less astounding. I devoured it in a matter of days.



Exile on Main Street by The Rolling Stones

This was the first Rolling Stones record I ever bought. I bought it at Woolworth's in the early summer of 1972, after having saved up all my babysitting money; I was almost 12. When I brought Exile home from the store, I had to hide it in the bushes beside the house because my mom was standing in the driveway, talking to somebody. I wasn't allowed to own Rolling Stones records back then, because the Stones were considered in those days to be an extremely bad influence on kids. I had to wait until my mother went back inside so that I could get the double-album out of the bushes and sneak it up to my room. I had a small portable record player in my room that ran on flashlight batteries. Very late at night, after my parents had gone to bed, I would play Exile on Main Street on that little record player with the sound turned almost all the way down. I think I had much better hearing in those days because I actually learned the words to those songs! I loved this album. I had never heard anything like it. And the fact that I didn't have a clue what the hell they were talking about on most of those songs, I think only made me love it all the more.

Pee Wee's Big Adventure

Like most of the world, this movie was my first exposure to Tim Burton's films. I so loved this movie!! I can't even imagine how many times I have watched this film in the 26 years since it first came out. Tim Burton is easily my favorite director. I love his macabre wit and his huge, dark heart.


The Secret Teachings of Jesus Translated by Marvin W. Meyer

This book was my first exposure to the Gnostic Gospels. I don't believe in Christianity as it stands today, but I have a profound interest in where it seems to have come from, a couple thousand years ago.

Profile: Best of Emmylou Harris

This is just a drop in the bucket of all the great music Emmylou Harris has made in her long career as a country singer. She is another one of the very few women who have been a profound inspiration to me. For the first 14 years that I lived in New York, I was a professional folk/country singer & songwriter. I sang a lot of her songs on stage. And I always wished that maybe one day she would sing one of the songs I wrote. I guess we'll find out!! It isn't over 'til it's over, right, gang?


Creative Mind & Success By Ernest Holmes

After having read all of the Seth Material, I found the Science of Mind a good fit for my beliefs for awhile. I was a practicing Religious Scientist for ten years -- until my minister, Dr. David Walker, who helmed the Los Angeles Church of Religious Science on Wilshire Blvd., died a couple years ago. This book was my favorite of all of Ernest Holmes many books on the Science of Mind. Ernest Holmes was the founder of Religious Science, which was born from the New Thought movement in the early part of the 20th Century. Primarily, he believed that "thoughts were things" and that you get what you concentrate upon. However, he wrote his work from a devout stance of monotheism and monotheism doesn't make real sense to me.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

I love this movie. I never get tired of it. I have no idea how many times I have seen this movie. It is so deceptively simple and yet so loving and powerful. By the time this movie came out, I had already seen Johnny Depp in a few movies, but I think this was the first time I saw him in a sort of "ordinary" role and I thought he was an incredibly gifted actor. That said, though, I think everyone in this film did an incredible job. To me, it is just a perfect, perfect movie.

Cleveland, Ohio

I lived in Cleveland from the time I was adopted, at about 2 weeks old, until just before my 11th birthday in 1971. I have the most amazing and fantastic memories of growing up in Cleveland in the 1960s. Among them : all the snow; going to drive-in movies in the summer; men walking on the moon; fireflies; my "I Dream of Jeanie" harem-style PJs;  the Broadway musical "Hair" becoming hugely popular; being a Girl Scout and my mom was the troop leader and having cookouts in one of the many Metro Parks; having sleepovers at my Grandma's house; being allowed to just go outside and play. They were all truly happy times for me. (Then I started getting my period and the world sucked for about 35 years...ha ha ha)


Dreams, Evolution, & Value Fulfillment, Vol.1 by Jane Roberts

Fascinating installments in the Seth Material about how reality became reality through dreaming, and how it evolved from there.

Dreams, Evolution, & Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2 by Jane Roberts

(Volume 2) Fascinating installments in the Seth Material about how reality became reality through dreaming, and how it evolved from there.

Rudolph Valentino, 1895 - 1926

The Silver-Tongued Devil & I by Kris Kristofferson

New York City

Hot Rocks 1964-1971 by The Rolling Stones

Getting Into the Vortex: Guided Meditations by Esther & Jerry Hicks

I love the Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction teachings. They are sort of like "Seth Material Lite," in that they teach the same concepts but are so much easier to grasp. This is a guided meditation CD with an accompanying text for 5 meditations. Each meditation is about 15 minutes long and focuses on releasing resistance and the Art of Allowing in key areas of the psyche. They have done wonders for me.

The Thin Man Collection

William Powell is my favorite actor from Hollywood's Golden Age. Just seeing his face makes my world a much easier place to be in. I especially love the Thin Man, but I enjoy him in everything he ever did. Although the writing in each of these movies varies a bit in quality, I still love every single one of the Thin Man movies! They were witty, sophisticated whodunits that really seemed to embrace the joy of life.


Coney Island


The "Unknown" Reality, Vol. 1 by Jane Roberts

Continuing Seth Material on the nature of reality. Not easy reads by any stretch, but they turned my whole notion of reality inside out. I am grateful for that. And they paved my way for the ready understanding of the Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction teachings.

The "Unknown" Reality, Vol. 2 by Jane Roberts

(Volume 2) Continuing Seth Material on the nature of reality. Not easy reads by any stretch, but they turned my whole notion of reality inside out. I am grateful for that. And they paved my way for the ready understanding of the Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction teachings.


My Own Private Idaho

Ed Wood

Lost Christianities: Christian Scriptures & the Battles over Authentication taught by Professor Bart D. Ehrman

Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits

Life by Keith Richards

Annie Hall

This was the first movie I saw more than once. It came out when I was 17 and I saw it five times while it was still in the theater. I thought this movie was so funny and I loved its depiction of Manhattan. Three years later, I was living there, but it seemed like those three years took a lifetime to pass.


Universal Rider Waite Tarot

I have been reading tarot cards since about 1978 & I swear by them. Not for "fortune telling" but for centering psychic energy. While this is probably the most popular deck in the world, it just happens to be my favorite. I love the illustrations -- they are so Art Nouveau. The "Universal" deck has had the color intensified from the original Rider Waite deck, but it is the same deck.


  Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

This was my first exposure to Hunter Thompson's writing even though by the time I read this book, when I was 16, he had been writing for Rolling Stone for quite a few years and I was an avid reader of Rolling Stone. But after this book, I read everything Hunter wrote, and I was so taken with him that I used to write him letters in care of Owl Creek Farm. When his writing talent was at its peak, he truly captured the defiant and exuberant spirit of those years. In his later years, when he was writing more about sports, it didn't resonate with me quite so much. Nevertheless, when he shot himself, I had a very, very sad day.


Patti Smith Horses

What can I say? Patti Smith changed everything for me in the best possible way. I first "discovered" her in the summer of 1975 in the book Cowboy Mouth which I read while I was confined to a mental institution. Patti had co-written the play with Sam Shepard and had also contributed a poem at the back of the book. I thought her writing was astounding; but more than that, she was a woman writing this stuff. Women-poets never resonated with me until I found Patti; her work had such a frankness and rebellious honesty to it that it felt like my whole mind had burst open and discovered "life." I was in the mental hospital because I had attempted suicide. Discovering life, therefore, was no small miracle. After Patti, though, I knew I wasn't crazy and that I was going to survive the mental hospital somehow and that my writing would some day  make a difference in the world. Horses was released at Christmas of that year. I will never, ever forget how it felt the first time I listened to that album: my heart soared. There was no one on Earth like Patti Smith.